Customer service FAILS of the week:

Postman – I have noticed that the delivery of post in our area is a bit sporadic of late.  It kind of follows the pattern of, get post – if you’re lucky – when we feel like it.  So yesterday the postman turns up at 4pm and says “MORRRRRNIN!” to me.  Er….  Ok.

Business bank manager – She is NOTORIOUSLY difficult to get hold of despite the fact that I have three business accounts with her.  I leave messages on her voicemail (she has been moved from Bath Road to Evesham without telling me – quite a trek should I need her) and she simply fails to get back to me.  I have now made two official complaints.  One, was two weeks ago, when I was told “Oh she’s on holiday”.  Good job that mullti-million pound deal I was signing all went smoothly then since she didn’t think to tell me!!  (I was joking about the deal sadly – all I was lacking was online access to one account and a debit card with the correct name on for the other). By the time she rings me back (characteristically 2 weeks after the “serious” complaint has been filed) the issue has been resolved!  FAIL.

IKEA restaurant – ORGANISATIONAL FAILURE.  So we bomb off to IKEA on Monday night to purchase a cabinet.  When we get there we stop in the restaurant as we have not had any tea.  There is a huge snaking queue and a very large family waiting for plates for cakes, which somehow needed to hold up a queue of about 40 people waiting for hot food.  15 minutes later and no plates had appeared, despite 20 odd staff working.  When we got to the food the instructions were poor.  Two ladies queued for ages to be told that soup was self-service.  When JT asked for fish and chips there were no chips and we had to wait yet again.  I watched in despair as some lad tried to work out how to move a tray of boiling hot potatoes without burning his hands (which he must have done about 3 times) and without dropping 4 plates of fish waiting for chips (one plate ended up in the peas, one in the pasta etc).  Urgh.

Well finally I have given in to the chest infection/cold and have taken two days off work unable to do much at all.  Today I feel really nauseous but the chesty bit is improving slowly.  Still no voice to speak of though (or with!  haha).  This is a bug that I would not wish to repeat any time soon.

I have been in bed doing puzzle books (my secret geeky trait – everyone has one or three!) and reading Grand Designs magazine.  Excellent reading.  I really need to renew my sub to Design Week but all in good time (and cashflow!)

I am seriously fed up with illness now and said a few cross words in prayer this morning.  I may have uttered a few words that the good Lord did not invent….

I am back in the jug agane.  Back at work but suffering still with my whiplash really badly and I have a chest infection of some sort?!  Probably swine flu if I were to ring NHS Direct.  That’s the trouble.  I cant go to my GP as I “exhibit symptoms of swine flu” so any medication would have to be administered over the phone.  The medication that I would get is tammiflu and frankly, I can’t be arsed unless it gets much worse!!  

So here I am at my desk and wondering what to do with myself.  I should have loads to do, but my work is all with other people waiting for approval or disapproval.  FOCUS!!

Yup.  It’s true.  I am having an odd sort of day.  I have managed to spray paint my face by accident, which was neither big nor clever.  Then, feeling a bit thirsty, I decided to visit Chelt Express, a new newsagent over the road from my office.  I walked through the door and managed to trip over an Indian gentleman who was crouching on the floor by the biscuits.  In a fit of terror (he almost held his hands up) he blurted out “I LOVE YOUR FOR EVER AND EVER OK???”  I stood for a moment, in a state of confusion before replying in a slightly bumblous fashion, “I was just after a bottle of water and a Freddo actually….And potentially a roll of sellotape if you sell it?!”  After which I bid a hasty retreat, after a brief conversation with five or so more gentlemen in a group (the shop is clearly a team effort!)  Odd times.

The other day some div chucked a match or a cigarette into our paper recycling bank.  A fire engine came and everything as smoke poured out of it.  We caught the action just near the end of the fire…..

Wall vinyls…. all the rage at the moment – I think they are brilliant!!  Not sure how long they will be in fashion for but hey.  Do you like my chandeliers? 

Song recommendation of the day: Gran Tourino by Jamie Cullum (although written by Clint Eastwood I believe?)  Beautiful.

It is now two months since the theft of iPhone
And it is with regret that I have reason to moan.
The iPhone was taken from Subway in town,
It cannot be proven, as the video is down.

Well not quite ‘down’ but tampered with,
The manager claims my presence a myth,
In the hour that I bought that fateful Fanta,
And subjected myself to weeks full of banter.

Telephone calls promised from victim support,
Also police letters and progress reports,
They did not appear so I chased the insurers,
Yet did not know they could be so laborious.

The company with the red phone on wheels,
Came back to me with their pathetic appeals,
To grant me the money £200 short,
And not replace the item, as really they ought.

I argued the toss to see if they dare,
Insist on an item that has now become rare,
I found one online for twice the amount
And offered it to them as their insistent way out.

All of a sudden they changed their tune,
And uttered a noise like a strangled baboon,
They coughed up the cash six weeks on,
Surely now, our game was back on?

I went to five shops to replace my machine,
The response I received was not short of obscene,
“We can’t sell you the phone on Pay As You Go,
We’d really love to but head office says no,

Due to limited stock we can only sell contract”
I just don’t believe you, as a matter of fact,
Would it be due to your lack of commission?
When you sell a handset, without its yearly addition?

I phoned up 02 to order at source,
They only had white, limited stock of course.
5 days later the phone was not here,
I phoned 02 back to ask when t’would appear.

“The order’s been cancelled”, no reason provided,
I demanded a new one for which they obliged me.
They promised a call back to confirm my buy,
When this didn’t happen, I rang to ask why.

“We haven’t got any in stock now” the woman bleated
I lost my rag and would not be defeated.
“SEVEN AND A HALF WEEKS and you fail one more time
You give me a phone or I cut off my line”.

The supervisor called at half past eight
And I held my breath to listen to my fate
A phone had been found, as if by magic,
The goodwill gesture, free postage – tragic.

I spoke politely in an attempt to be ‘mates’
I lost it a little when the consignment of freight
Was to be sent to an address that is not on my card,
Get it right, is it really that hard??

So tomorrow is the day, I wait with breath bated,
A sigh too loud surely could be ill-fated,
Between 8 and 10 tomorrow it is promised to me…
Will it arrive?  Well…. We will have to see!

Yesterday I received 10 polystyrene bananas in the post…  Watch this space!