…When you absent-mindedly wander upstairs in the library and sit at a table, un-laminate the “Learning Centre Etiquette” (Oops!  How very antithetical…) and murder a baby spider plant.  FOCUS!

I nearly fell of my chair laughing at this article that Luke sent me…. It is TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE but also hilarious!!

Drunk Swedish pastor woos Christians online

A Church of Sweden pastor faces possible expulsion from the ministry after drunkenly hitting a Christian online dating website and wooing women with chat-up lines such as “You look like a bearded lady”.

According to local paper Smålandsposten, the elderly and pensioned man of God told another woman down at 7EHimlen (“Seventh Heaven”): “You look really drab and dreary. You probably have to pay for sex.”

Unsurprisingly, this didn’t go down well with with the powers that be, and the perp will face the cathedral chapter in Växjö, southern Sweden, on 23 April.

The pastor admitted he was somewhat the worse for drink at the time of the outrage, and lamented: “The whole episode was stupid and regrettable and pitiable.”

Ohhhh the genius.  What bothers me apart from the fact that he was a pastor, is that he was a pensioner!!!  Bearded lady!  Oh dear the tears are still streaming.

Dave Dorey gets two appearances on my blog this week.  He went to Slimbridge and took me a photo of a Néné goose!  I like to call it a Nai Nai goose but I have never met one in person/goose.  I am slightly disappointed that it wasn’t pink! Awesome pic though Dave.

….Your cat stands folornly in the kitchen, licking an empty bowl, in the vain hope that it might fill up with food.  Whilst watching it, you attempt to open your soup bowl with the tin opener instead of opening the can.  When you finally figure out the whole soup in bowl mix up, you put the soup in the microwave only to discover that your husband has blown up some custard in it the night before, removed the dish and dumped it in the washing up bowl.  The soup attempts to spin and wobble around the dish holder and then proceeds to pop loudly several times, decorating the microwave interior with Tuscan bean.

You realise that you don’t have anything to put on your bread because it is not pay day for ages, so you end up with plastic cheese on pittas, with sizzling hot soup.  You walk upstairs to do some more work and are so tired that you stare at the screen in a dumb fashion for about 20 minutes.  You walk out of the room, hoping that you will remember what you are supposed to be doing and smack your shoulder on the ladder, which is currently leading to JT’s escape hatch.  After gently cursing and then remembering that it is the sabbath and momentarily feeling all religious about it and slightly guilty, you apologise to God for your bad temper and traipse downstairs.

You tread in some wallpaper which sticks to your shoe, trip over the bathroom carpet which JT has laid out on the dining room floor as a template for the new flooring, kick the cat litter tray across the kitchen and finally wonder why you bothered to get up this morning.

Then a bumble bee flew into the window with an almighty crack and cursed more loudly than I did in a buzzy kind of way.  This made me laugh.  I regained a little perspective.  Cheer up everybody!  There is a new week to come.  Easter week no less!

Something really weird happened to me the other night as I fell asleep…  I had a really vivid poem in my head.  I was half asleep because I don’t really remember doing it, but I scribbled it down on my mobile.  It was only today that I had a look at what I had written in my slumber to see if I was imagining it and it made me laugh!  Wanna see?

Sunshine was beautiful, bright, warm and yellow,
But nobody saw her behind her cloud.
Every now and again she shone a little,
As she peeped out and looked at the world.

But there was much in the world that made her afraid,
People noticed when she shone,
But not becuse she gave light, or made the birds sing,
But because she made their bodies look well.

Then one day she saw you when looking at the world,
You looked so different, so fine.
Your heart was big and your mind was strong,
You made sunshine smile when you came along.

You caused her to laugh and forget to feel scared,
You helped her to see that some people cared.
She admired your looks, your brains and your wit,
She could shine for hours in the place where you sit.

There’s no one quite like you,
You make the clouds melt,
Can I be your sunshine?
For you are my world.

Weird huh?  Sleep-poetry.  That’s a new one.

Just want to big up my good friend Mr David Dorey who has just launched Azure Production Services.  A rather nice identity by elevation (though I say so myself!) is now his.  In all seriousness though, I thoroughly recommend this guy for all your production needs along with Pete McCrea of Production AV and Dave Hughes of Orbit Productions.

Did you like Creative Review’s April fool?  Comic Sans!! Hahahaha.  I have to admit, when I first read it I did almost fall for it.

As if the 2012 logo hasn’t caused enough of a stir, I have just read this on the Creative Review blog:

2012 Olympic Typeface To Be Announced

CR understands that, later today, the official typeface for the 2012 London Olympics will be announced. Among those being considered are a bespoke face, Gill Sans and Times, but the current favourite is thought to be Comic Sans.
COMIC SANS…..REALLY????!  *sigh*  Oh dear.  Welcome to ‘Great Britain’.